Ultimately, the city and I just didn’t get along. I became unhappy with the picture Berlin was painting of itself to the world, emphasizing the negative, emphasizing death over life, always twisting the narrative to avoid mentioning things the city should have been proud of. The weather, of course, could be brutal in the winter, and the winter seemed to last for seven months. The food, for most of my stay, was awful, although I have to say that’s one thing which was definitely on the upswing in my last couple of years there. The architecture was relentessly grim, and, with the city sprawled out over an area that seemed the size of Los Angeles, there was an awful lot of it: this past March I’d just returned from Texas and France when I agreed to meet friends at a recently-discovered Chinese restaurant in Neukölln and took the Ringbahn from Schönhauser Allee to get there. I was really demoralized by the time I arrived from the endlessly repetitive vistas of depressing buildings and squalid streets, and this just fuelled my need to get out even further. And I saw all of this reflected in the faces of the residents, so many of whom look either desperately unhappy or lobotomized. I couldn’t see myself getting older there, and given that one of my not-so-unconscious goals in moving in the first place was to find female companionship, I’d long since given up on finding a German woman who wasn’t consumed with self-loathing or incipient mental illness. Not to say that they don’t exist, but the only one I found wasn’t a romantic prospect, although it was encouraging after all those years to discover there were occasional nonconformists.
I’ll post here when Ed’s new blog is up. Meanwhile Ed has a regular rock ‘n’ roll spot on NPR’s Fresh Air. (Photo: Ed Ward and Curra’s in Austin during SXSW 2008, by Jon L.)